Welcome Freeof1914, it's good to see you here hopefully, you find the support you seek.
I would wholeheartedly agree with the take-it-slow approach. Some decisions aren't so easily reversed. Having said that, if it helps you to know, the right decision *may* be for you to walk away from it all i.e. religion and wife. But, as many on here have already stated, only you should deciede that and, that decision should be a sound one, not made in haste or as a knee-jerk reaction.
If it helps you to know, I did walk away from it all: spouse and religion but I did so because my relationship was *not* based on love and respect it was, for all intents and purposes, an arranged marriage. My parents strongly encouraged the relationship about a month or two after I was served a straighten-up-and-act-right-or-get-out (i.e. be shunned) ultimatum. I felt absolutely trapped (the story of my life) and I dutifully went along with it. *This* (getting married, producing more drones) was what we were supposed to do and I, just, did. I learned to love my spouse to the degre that I was capable of loving someone in that circumstance. In other words, if I had been allowed to develop as a normal child into a normal young adult [read: with autonomy] I never would have dated much less marry him. I knew this deep down inside, in a place where I knew many personal truths I was way too scared to acknowledge. I was, by all accounts, a very good wife. On the surface, all looked perfect. Inside, I was dying.
When I left the religion it was very natural for me to walk away from my spouse. He was part and parcel of every single mindless, spineless and dumb act I performed under the auspices of the borg. I.have.never.looked.back. I am so much happier now with myself and in my relationship which is based on him loving me, as in, the *me* that I really am not some trumped-up version of the woman I pretended to be.
Take your time. Get to know yourself. Search your heart for the answer, it will come.
~ Fortis